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Goodr Runways - Demeters Farm to Table Feast

$35.00

Goodr Runways - Demeters Farm to Table Feast

$35.00

LIMITED EDITION: GLASSES OF THE GODS

"You are cordially invited to Demeter's Farm to Table Feast. Please follow the rules.
1. If you sneak in any store-bought trash like "mayochup," she will turn you into a gecko.
2. Don't ask Demeter when she's getting married. She's not. Get over it, Rhea.
3. NO PHONES AT THE TABLE, PERSEPHONE. Mama only sees you 6 months a year.
4. Whoever brings up politics gets three months of famine.
5. Wear her sunnies because they don't slip or bounce AND you can sneakily check everyone out in their skimpy togas.
Sincerely, Demeter. Yes, I'm writing about myself in the 3rd person. So what? FIGHT ME."

1 NO SLIP

Our lightly-textured silicone earpieces use the all new goodr Cat Tongue Technology to offer enhanced protection against slippage.

2 NO BOUNCE

Our frame is crafted to be feather-weight, yet snug, with a comfortable fit to prevent bouncing when running.

3 ALL POLARIZED

Glare-reducing, polarized lenses and UV400 protection that blocks 100% of those harmful UVA and UVB rays.

4 ALL FASHION

Look like a model while you’re running. Isn’t that why you’re taking all those running selfies?

5 NO CATCALLS

We aspire to the day we can guarantee that you won’t be whistled at on the street; sadly, we cannot make that guarantee.We CAN, however, guarantee that no person wearing Runway goodrs has ever been telephoned by a cat.

INTRODUCING DEMETER'S FARM TO TABLE FEAST


If you don't eat her food, she's going to be offended and f*** up our whole sh*t with a long brutal winter, no crops, no vacay, no sun, AHHHHHHHHHHH
please please please
please please please
be on your best behavior at Demeter's Farm to Table Feast

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